Bathtubbooks.com

Tom Hanks as Robert Langdon. Yikes.

Oh my, I am being very unfashionable indeed, following up John Grisham with Dan Brown. If it pleases my reader, I read quite a lot of stuff in between, including Love in a cold climate, which I will review, but as Dan Brown is such a hype I thought I’d throw my two cents in.

I rather liked The Da Vinci code, I thought it was cleverly done, if very far fetched. I loathed Angels and Demons which bored me to tears, twice, and then I simply gave up. Then came Digital Fortress and thingy Point (can’t even remember. Critical point? Aaah, Deception Point). Actually rather enjoyed both of them, much more than Da Vinci. More excitement, especially Deception Point was a rush, an absolute page turner.

So now there is The Lost Symbol. And to be honest, I find Robert Langdon among the most dull and uninspiring people to ever head up a page turner. For no aparent reason women find him irresistible. Well, actually, Brown makes a point of making him swim fifty lengths every morning at some ungodly hour, so maybe that’s why. Brown has stated in interviews that Langdon is “the man he wishes he could be”. Do you think that’s why Brown makes him swim those fifty laps, ’cause he’s too lazy to do it himself?

Langdon sounds like a dead bore. And ever since Tom Hanks, of all people! played him in the movie I know he’s not Harrison Ford in Indiana Jones-hot either. Langdon rather reminded me of Agatha Christie’s wonderful character Ariadne Oliver, a crime writer who wrote a book about a detective from Finland. As mrs. Oliver’s books grows more and more successful, she starts to despise her own invention and often laments she made him Finnish, because it requires so much research. I bet Dan Brown wishes he’d invented a slightly more dashing hero.

Then there’s the action, which I found very reminiscent of the bit I got through in Angels & Demons. Quite gory, but oddly uninteresting, with drowning the girl in the octopus tank and ripping the guy’s arm off (trust me, these are hardly spoilers). Well, in Angels and Demons they ripped out a guy’s eye, here it was a whole right arm, potato, potato.

Then there’s the plot, with a lot of masonic mumbo jumbo, hidden meaning and “noetic sciences” that, to sum it up, allow you to cure cancer by thinking happy thoughts. I wasn’t that impressed. Langdon’s mentor and dear friend, (and yet, this is the first time we hear about him) Peter is kidnapped to coerce Langdon into going on an elaborate scavenger hunt to unlock an ancient portal that should bestow God-like powers on the crazed, tattoed kidnapper.

So, what did I like about it? Well, it’s the little nuggets of fun facts, stuff about Washington: who knew it was originally called Rome? Or that they kept a vestal virgin, well sort of? And only stopped because of fire regulations? Yay! It’s quite an exciting read, and I love a good scavenger hunt, but I do hope somebody in a big white Volvo runs down Robert Langdon. Soonish. I think Dan Brown would be a much happier man for it.

Technorati Tags: Robert Langdon death